A Powerful Question to Help Get to Those Things You’ve Been Putting Off For A While…

One Powerful Question to help Quick-Start Positive Change in your Life

When I was first asked this question, I found it instantly helped me to think differently about certain aspects of my life. As I wrote down the answers, it very quickly became clear to me that if I acted to sort out the parts of my life that I was just putting up with, life would be better, certain relationships would improve, I’d have increased focus, less stress… Ask yourself this one question:

What am I tolerating in my life right now?

What is a toleration? Quite simply it’s stuff you’re putting up with that bothers you – this can be something seemingly minor like a cluttered corner of your house or office that you know needs to get sorted, and it can be something rather large, such as a colleague who is so negative, they drain your energy. Tolerations are things that without which, your life would be better. These can be eliminated with huge benefits to you such as decreased frustration and stress, clearer thinking, more time, better health and energy – a better life.

The first step in eliminating tolerations is to name them. Ask yourself now: What am I tolerating in my life right now?

See listed below some examples of tolerations to help start your thinking process – everyone’s tolerations will be different as everyone’s view of life is unique.

Examples of tolerations include:

  1. A long commute to and from work
  2. The milk being left out of the fridge after being used
  3. The clutter under your stairs or on your desk
  4. The shoes you trip over every time you enter a certain room
  5. A colleague who moans and never ever says something positive
  6. Another colleague who presents you with problems – never solutions
  7. Missing your exercise class for various reasons
  8. Your family member who depends on you for absolutely everything
  9. Your friend who always cancels at the last minute
  10. Your wardrobe that needs a clear out
  11. Your coffee habit that adversely affects your skin – and maybe your sleep
  12. Your boss who constantly puts you down or overloads you with work
  13. That stack of personal paperwork that’s on your mind yet you’ve done nothing about it
  14. Your employee who doesn’t pull their weight
  15. Drama and gossip
  16. A nagging family member
  17. Your lack of confidence
  18. Being too busy
  19. Poor sales results from your team
  20. Your perfectionism
  21. Someone else’s perfectionism
  22. Lack of personal responsibility
  23. Guilt
  24. Sadness
  25. Worry about “what might happen”
  26. Not making time to meet your friends
  27. Dishonesty
  28. Poor habits like always being late, biting your nails, eating too many cookies
  29. Excuses
  30. Boredom
  31. Too many social commitments
  32. Unhealthy relationships
  33. Staying up so late, you’re always tired the next day
  34. Inaction
  35. Procrastination
  36. A “to do” list that never gets finished
  37. Fear of speaking up
  38. No time to think
  39. Too much debt
  40. Lack of fun and laughter in your life
  41. The neighbours dog barking all night
  42. The printer that keeps breaking down
  43. The employee who always misses deadlines
  44. The pile of books you really want to read but haven’t
  45. That friends weekend away that has been planned for years but hasn’t happened yet
  46. Your hairstyle that needs updating
  47. Your car that needs washing
  48. Your garden that’s a mess
  49. That unwritten book you know you want to write
  50. Those “thank you” cards you need to send

When making your Tolerations List, aim for as many as you can. Try for a minimum of 10 and up to 20 for a more complete picture of what you need to eliminate from your life.

When you have completed your list, I suggest eliminating the easiest ones first. Some people like to tackle the biggest tolerations but I have always found that de-cluttering the actual tolerations list gives me a great sense of satisfaction and motivates me to tackle bigger issues. You can look forward to your clearer, less-frustrated life where you have more time, energy and joy. You can use a page and plot it out like the example below.

My Tolerations What am I going to do about them?
1.     My office is a mess I will tidy my office this coming Friday from 9-11am
2.     Too many social commitments I will prioritise and cancel the least important/enjoyable. I will consider all invitations more carefully in future and will accept only those that are fun/important.
3.     etc

 

Enjoy!

 

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