One Powerful Question to help Quick-Start Positive Change in your Life
When I was first asked this question, I found it instantly helped me to think differently about certain aspects of my life. As I wrote down the answers, it very quickly became clear to me that if I acted to sort out the parts of my life that I was just putting up with, life would be better, certain relationships would improve, I’d have increased focus, less stress… Ask yourself this one question:
What am I tolerating in my life right now?
What is a toleration? Quite simply it’s stuff you’re putting up with that bothers you – this can be something seemingly minor like a cluttered corner of your house or office that you know needs to get sorted, and it can be something rather large, such as a colleague who is so negative, they drain your energy. Tolerations are things that without which, your life would be better. These can be eliminated with huge benefits to you such as decreased frustration and stress, clearer thinking, more time, better health and energy – a better life.
The first step in eliminating tolerations is to name them. Ask yourself now: What am I tolerating in my life right now?
See listed below some examples of tolerations to help start your thinking process – everyone’s tolerations will be different as everyone’s view of life is unique.
Examples of tolerations include:
- A long commute to and from work
- The milk being left out of the fridge after being used
- The clutter under your stairs or on your desk
- The shoes you trip over every time you enter a certain room
- A colleague who moans and never ever says something positive
- Another colleague who presents you with problems – never solutions
- Missing your exercise class for various reasons
- Your family member who depends on you for absolutely everything
- Your friend who always cancels at the last minute
- Your wardrobe that needs a clear out
- Your coffee habit that adversely affects your skin – and maybe your sleep
- Your boss who constantly puts you down or overloads you with work
- That stack of personal paperwork that’s on your mind yet you’ve done nothing about it
- Your employee who doesn’t pull their weight
- Drama and gossip
- A nagging family member
- Your lack of confidence
- Being too busy
- Poor sales results from your team
- Your perfectionism
- Someone else’s perfectionism
- Lack of personal responsibility
- Guilt
- Sadness
- Worry about “what might happen”
- Not making time to meet your friends
- Dishonesty
- Poor habits like always being late, biting your nails, eating too many cookies
- Excuses
- Boredom
- Too many social commitments
- Unhealthy relationships
- Staying up so late, you’re always tired the next day
- Inaction
- Procrastination
- A “to do” list that never gets finished
- Fear of speaking up
- No time to think
- Too much debt
- Lack of fun and laughter in your life
- The neighbours dog barking all night
- The printer that keeps breaking down
- The employee who always misses deadlines
- The pile of books you really want to read but haven’t
- That friends weekend away that has been planned for years but hasn’t happened yet
- Your hairstyle that needs updating
- Your car that needs washing
- Your garden that’s a mess
- That unwritten book you know you want to write
- Those “thank you” cards you need to send
When making your Tolerations List, aim for as many as you can. Try for a minimum of 10 and up to 20 for a more complete picture of what you need to eliminate from your life.
When you have completed your list, I suggest eliminating the easiest ones first. Some people like to tackle the biggest tolerations but I have always found that de-cluttering the actual tolerations list gives me a great sense of satisfaction and motivates me to tackle bigger issues. You can look forward to your clearer, less-frustrated life where you have more time, energy and joy. You can use a page and plot it out like the example below.
My Tolerations | What am I going to do about them? |
1. My office is a mess | I will tidy my office this coming Friday from 9-11am |
2. Too many social commitments | I will prioritise and cancel the least important/enjoyable. I will consider all invitations more carefully in future and will accept only those that are fun/important. |
3. etc |
Enjoy!